i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
