is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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