I smell stomach acid.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
