As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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