i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
