Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
