Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
