Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize