It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We left an ass print on the piano.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
