I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
