I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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