She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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