My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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