I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
