i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
