my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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