we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
