I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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