Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
