you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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