He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
