she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
