please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
