is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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