508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
