I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
