I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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