If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
