I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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