...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
