ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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