I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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