I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
