What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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