I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
