Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
