and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
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I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
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We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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