so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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