I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
