Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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