Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
