I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wish i was in the wii world.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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