I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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