I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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