everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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