Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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