he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize