You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
