can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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