Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
