Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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