Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
