im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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