Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
