he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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