Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
