She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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