I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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