I wanna bring you to show and tell
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
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You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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